Man, I have seemed to have hit a bit of a RUT in my parenting. Why is it that I am having such a hard time getting my kids to understand what RESPECT is?? I really do have the greatest kids! But whether it is not doing their chores, talking back to me and Brady, fighting with each other along with MASSIVE SASS!!!....it's always something! What am I doing wrong? I just signed up for my 4th...yes 4th "Parenting with Love and Logic" class so I can hopefully re-learn some of the things I have forgotten!For one, I do not raise my voice very often. I try to talk to them patiently and calmly. But lately, I've noticed my voice going up a few notches in volume and my patience is slipping!
So I need help! And yes, it is coming across as a bit of a bribe because I'm doing a giveaway, but that is just how DESPERATE I AM!
Please leave a comment about what works for your family as far as getting the kids to do their chores, reward systems you use, how you teach your kids to respect both you and others....and any other advice you would like to share? I love to hear what others are doing that work for them in their homes!
So leave a comment and I will put your name in a hat and do a drawing in a week or two! The winner will get a Scentsy plug-in warmer and 2 bars! I know, I'm pathetic aren't I? Seriously! I NEED ADVICE! :)
I just love my kids so much and I know our home would be a happier place with less bickering, fighting, etc and more Love and Respect toward each other!
Thanks for your help everyone! LOVE YOU ALL!
10 comments:
Julie! you are hilarious! This is Josie by the way. Hey One of my families friends do this money system almost! haha. Do like $.25 a chore, and if they don't do it, then the kids have to pay you!! haha. good way to earn money! ha Then if they do the job give them like $.25 for each chore they did!:) Then if they start to talk back take like $.10 away. It works, so I've heard! Too bad they don't have phones yet! That works with me and my brother!:) Good Luck:)
You are crazy!! First of all you dont have to give anything away to hear what I have to say. I have really no good advise, I dropped out of love and logic. And I dont have teenagers or weenagers. But, I can say you do have the best kids ever!! Can you just calmly take something away that would really get to them (phone privleges or play time?). Then hopefully after a few times of that they will get the idea. My mom would always give me a look whenever I started to get lippy with her and I knew that if it continued then I would regret it because I wouldnt be able to use the phone or something like that. She never even had to talk, much less yell. Anyway, like I said not much help here but good luck!! I hope it all works out and you get some better advise from someone who knows what they are talking about... Like Josie!!
I feel the exact same way lately. My volume is continuing to rise with my kids' sassiness. So I'll be watching your comments to see what I can learn too! I know what will make a huge difference for me that I need to work on...following through on my threats. If I say, "if you do that one more time, then I'll take away the videogames" and then I don't take away the videogames then I've ruined my credibility and they'll walk all over me. I think if I consistently follow through with the punishments I threaten them with they'll realize there are no second chances and they have to behave from the get go. And you don't have to give anything away for my advice either. :)
Julie, I've been giving this some thaught! And the truth is I don't think any of us have a clue! We hope, we try, we fail, we try something else, we fail, we try again, until hopefully our kids are grown and gone. (Ok maybe that's just my cycle, but I hope I'm not alone.) I think the most important thing is we keep trying. I did read this http://icecreamdiary.blogspot.com/2009/08/family-that-slaves-together.html and thought it looked like a great idea but a lot of work. I'm hoping you get more comment on this, because I'm always up for suggestions!
Where do you take Love & Logic classes? I think I'd like to sign up for them!
I could have written that post myself! Glad to know it's not just my kids. I recently made "job magnets" out of those flat, round marbles. Right now they're on the fridge by each kid's name. They know that they have to do all their jobs before they can play video games (which is huge in my house). It seems to be working so far. I think that they like being able to take the magnet off and put it in the basket when they are done. I think it gives them more of a sense of accomplishment to see an empty space that was once full rather than a full space of stickers or smiley faces or whatever. I've also been trying to focus more on the positive things they do and offer a reward of some kind. I'm thinking about doing something along these lines http://theidearoom.blogspot.com/2009/08/reward-points-system-and-home-store.html. But I haven't implemented it yet. I think it's important for kids to see their reward (or whatever) in the short-term. The sooner you can reward for good behavior, the better (that comes from my husband who taught a 13 week strengthening families class for work). That's my 2 cents for now. Don't worry, Jules, we are all in the same boat and paddling together. Good luck (to us all)!
lol sounds like everyone is trying to figure out the exact same thing! Course my kids aren't old enough to talk back with too much dis-respect, but we are def having issues. Doesn't it seem like our parents did it perfectly? I swear I never acted like that nor did my siblings (Until I was in 10th grade)....My sister does such an AWESOME job parenting and she has one child that would be so outta control if she had different parents! When I recently asked for her advice she said, "The best thing you can do is be consistant....ALWAYS follow through no matter what a pain in the butt it is"....So now with Lincoln I rarely give him warnings. He's at the age he should just "know". So the last few days I've tried to respond immediately and put him in time-out (that works for him, but your kids are prob too old) So since they are older and understand a lot, they don't get any warnings? I dunno?! I'm still trying to figure it out too. I still give Lincoln warnings for some things that I'm not certain he understands...I'm going to re-read that book. I want to take the class with you!!! Is it too late? How did u find out about it? Sorry for the novel
p.s. Lincoln just saw the big picture of Olivia and said, "That's Elsie!" ha ha
Goodness, good luck with that! Kids. I guess my advice (if it is worth anything) is to ALWAYS follow through. It can be tough (especially when you are tired), but if they know you mean it,they (for the most part) will do what you say. Always, always, always follow through. Of course it does not always work and they will always give us a run for our money. But I have found that it does work most of the time when I follow through. Did I say follow through enough? silly me. By the way, your little Olivia is just adorable! She is such a cutie!
Alrighty there lady. This is a GREAT giveaway - I am always looking for help in the parenting department. My girls have more energy, are busier and waaay more sassy than I ever was - man, paybacks:)
Anyway - look here:
http://viettiview.blogspot.com/2009/08/reward-points-system-and-home-store.html
For my current parenting program - and EVEN BETTER - a super duper awesome Mom's idea (which totally kicks my idea's butt) that I hope to instigate someday - when I have the time...
I can't wait to see the advice you get - we all need help:)
Hey Julie! I don't know if you're even still checking on this, but I have been a bit crazy lately and haven't been "up on my blog reading"...you know. Anywho, I love to hear other people's ideas, and I definitely have to agree with the few people who said Follow Through! That is probably the most important thing I have learned as well. If my kids know I mean business, they respond so much better. I am not so good at charts and all that fun stuff, because I forget to mark them, or put stickers on, or whatever the heck it is you're supposed to do. One thing we did, though, that was pretty simple was a jar with marbles. Whenever they were obedient, talked respectfully, did a good job, etc. we would put a marble in the jar. When they misbehaved, talked back, were mean to their siblings, etc. we would take a marble out. The kids knew once the jar was full, they would earn some fun reward or activity. So, just an idea anyway. I love to hear other people's ideas, because it seems like such a NEVER-ENDING battle! Some days I just want to lock myself in my room and hide from them all! Good Luck! Let us know what you try and how it works!
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