Thanksgiving 2008~~~

Thanksgiving 2008

We had the opportunity of spending Thanksgiving in St. George this year. Brady's parents bought a condo there a few months ago so we all headed down there for Thanksgiving! We had a great time! It was a little smooshy in the condo, but we made it work and it was fun to spend time with everyone....even in close quarters! We had so much fun just talking, watching football, playing cards....mostly indoor stuff since it was pretty rainy! Thanks everyone for a great weekend

I am thankful for.....................................

Since Thanksgiving is right around the corner, I was sitting here tonight thinking about all of the blessings I have in my life! I thought I would just take a sec to write some of them down...so bear with me!! :)

1. I am so so so thankful for my AMAZING family! Brady, I love you so much! You are so good to me and truly treat me like royalty...probably even better! McKaylee, I love you and love that you are such a big help to me! You are always looking for ways to help and are so good to help take care of your brother and sister! Brinley, I love your spunky, and witty personality. You remind me so much of myself when I was your age! You are always so happy and making others laugh! Alex, my baby...not for long! I love that you are always wanting to hug me and snuggle with me! And always telling me how much you love me and how "nice" I am! That makes me so happy!

2. I'm so thankful for so many wonderful friends. Whether they be girlfriends from H.S, friends from work, church or neighbors... I love you all! I would be lost without my friends!

3. I'm thankful for such loving and caring parents who put up with so much from me in my teenage years! They are both my idols! I am who I am today because of them loving me the way they did....and still do!

4. I'm thankful for HANK! Oh, my heck! I love him so much! He is really and truly the greatest little dog ever! He has added so much more love to our family this past year! And thanks to Chance and Shanna for trusting us with him!!

5. I am thankful for ZOFRAN....If you don't know what this is, it is a miracle nausea medication! I would be so much worse off if I wasn't taking it right now!

6. I'm thankful for Singing and having the opportunity to sing and share our love of music with others!

7. I'm thankful for Brady's family who is my family now and who I have grown to love so much!

8. I'm thankful for sobriety!!

9. I'm thankful for "Cha Cha"....I would be lost without you!!

10. I'm thankful for the gospel!

11. I'm thankful for 2 adorable Grandmas that are still pretty healthy and happy!

12. I'm thankful for the the times when all 3 of my kids fight over sitting on my lap!

13. I'm thankful for Tivo!!!

14. I'm thankful for baths.....long, long hot ones!! ...not as hot now that I am pregnant though!

15. I'm thankful for my house, food, clothes, shoes, and all the other small things that many people this time of year do not have..

16. I'm thankful for Popsicles...only red right now! The others don't sit well being pregnant!

17. I am thankful for my cute little friend, Maria, who brings her 4 lady friends to come and help me out with my house! I LOVE YOU MARIA!! YOU ARE A MIRACLE WORKER!

18. I'm thankful I am right smack dab in the middle of 5 girls. I didn't use too though! I am so lucky to have such amazing sisters!

19. I am thankful for Christmas time!! It is by far, my favorite time of year! I love everything about it!

20. Most of all, I am thankful for all of you!!!!!

I hope you all have the greatest Thanksgiving EVER!!

GO UTES!

UTES CRUSH the Y!

So really? Need I say anything else except for WAHOO!!!! GO UTES! We went to the game and what an amazing game! UTES ROCK!! We had a great time! We took our friends, Ryan and Aimee who are simply the greatest friends ever!! Brady is already planning his "boys" trip
for the BCS bowl game! Can't wait! GO UTES!!! You made us proud ! And made the Y fans cry!
LONG LIVE THE UTES!!

The Serenity Prayer

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;

courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference"

You may or may not be familiar with the "Serenity Prayer", but I have spoken these words many times in the last few years and have come to love and appreciate these simple words written by Reinhold Niebhur.

I've decided to tell my story today in hopes that it may in some way help someone out there who is either suffering from the same "disease" as I was for so long, or for those who in some way have been affected by drugs or alcohol in their family. You may have noticed that I put the word "disease" in quotes.
I found this quote on addiction that puts this horrible disease into better context.
"Addictions are not about will power. The problems facing addicts, alcoholics, and their families are miserable, disgusting, and infuriating. They are often hopelessly discouraging. But to imagine that an addict "could change if he wanted to" is a serious misunderstanding of the long term dynamic of addictive disorder. The fact is precisely that an addict cannot change in the long run even if he wants to! That is the definition of addiction: "the loss of control over the use of a substance." It is important to understand that this loss of control is manifested not in terms of days or weeks, but in longer term behaviors: terms of months and years. "

So here is my story.....Three years ago today, I entered drug rehabilitation for a very serious and extremely ugly 13 year addiction to narcotics and benzodiazepines. I started using when I was 18 and working for a doctor who was pretty much feeding my addiction for me. I did blame him at first, but came to realize that I was the one abusing the drugs and had to take accountability for it! At the time, I thought nothing of it, but every day, it got worse and worse.
At the peak of my addiction, I was taking about 6 different medications and upwards of 50 pills per day. After 13 years of daily drug use, my body had built up massive resistance to all of the drugs! There were several instances that built up to my "rock bottom", I guess you could say. Several black outs, seizures, police involvement and multiple car accidents. Finally, Brady got the courage to tell me that if I didn't get help, he had no other choice than to take the kids and leave. I felt I was "forced" to go into rehab. And figured I would do it just to "get him off my back." One thing you have to realize about addicts is that first of all, all they know how to do is lie and be dishonest about EVERYTHING and also that any problem that arises is some one else's fault....never theirs! But my life had really hit "rock bottom" and I honestly had just come to the conclusion that I was just going to die early..I know, it sounds morbid, but that is exactly how I felt. I was completely hopeless! My sister told me, after I finished rehab, that she had emotionally prepared herself for the "phone call" saying her sister was gone, and that addiction had finally taken my life. I'm so grateful I was able to get help before that actually happened.

My thoughts, honestly, were.."How is 6 weeks of 'counseling' going to cure me of this RAGING addiction that rules every second of my life? " The first day in rehab, I sat in our group circle with a bad attitude and feeling that I was above everyone else there who had a street drug problem or was an alcoholic. That quickly changed. When it came my turn to share, I said, "Hi, my name is Julie, I take a lot of pills, that's why I'm here".. My counselor, Dave, quickly cut me off and said, "Julie, repeat after me,... My name is Julie, and I am an addict!!" I just about dropped on the floor. I didn't even believe it myself. And by the end of the first night there, I realized I was no different than anyone else in there. A drug, is a drug, is a drug!

I wish I could even explain to you what an amazing experience it was to be there for 6 weeks. You learn SOOOO much about yourself and are taught different ways of looking at everything! I really believe that the 12 step program is for EVERYBODY! It helps you really learn more about yourself and be a better person in so many levels! After 6 weeks I was on my way and back into the frightening world of reality. To my surprise, recovering from addiction was hard, but not half as hard as I had imagined. For 13 years, it controlled every second of every day. I woke up first thing in the morning wondering how and where I would get drugs. I had absolutely no time to "enjoy" life. I thought staying clean would be merely impossible! I know that I couldn't have done it without the support of my amazing family! I can't tell you how much it means to have 100% support from your family! It makes all the difference!

There have been people along the way that have passed judgement on me and the decisions that I made for so long, but I have made it a conscious decision to not let them pull me down. The mountain I had to climb to reach 3 years of sobriety has been a very very steep one, but I did it!

Even though this is a pretty long post compared to what I usually do, I feel like I could go on forever! The word "addiction" is a dark and ugly word to most, but to me, I find peace in the fact that I was able to overcome my addiction.. Although, I know full well, that this is not just something you conquer and never have to deal with again, it is a battle I will be fighting every day for the rest of my life!

Going into drug rehabilitation saved my life!! I am so grateful for the counselors there and all of the amazing friends that I made. The saddest part about recovering from addiction is that statistics say that 97% of people who enter rehab for the first time will relapse within the first year. Sadly, that was the case in our group. We had 29 people, and there are just 2 of us that have managed to stay clean and sober for 3 years. My heart and my prayers go out to those who became such good friends of mine in the program! I hope and pray that they will be able to find sobriety again and live the life that I know they all deserve! I love and miss you all!

I love my life now! I can't believe what I missed out on for so long! I am extremely sad that I don't have all of the memories of the past 13 years that I should have, but am so excited that for the last 3 years I have been able to see the world more clearly and enjoy life..."drug free"...every day!

Thanks for letting me share! I needed to do this for me! And also anyone out there that may either be suffering from addiction or know someone who is. So here is my soapbox......

If you know anyone who you think may be suffering from addiction, PLEASE get them help! I truly believe it is all up to the loved ones of the addicts to get them help! An addict will never get it for themselves! Most of the time, they can't even acknowledge they have a problem! But it will save their life! If Brady didn't finally put his foot down and take control of the situation, I would still be out doing what I had done for the past 13 years. Or very possibly would not be here at all!

To my family, I love you so much! Mom and Dad, thanks for praying for me. My mom told me after I had been clean for a year that she had never felt so hopeless as she did during my addiction. She said when there was nothing else they could do, they prayed for me! I know the prayers of my parents and everyone else around me are what have gotten me here today!

Brady, I owe you my life! I know that my addiction affected you the most and I love you so much for sticking with me through even the very worst of times!

If any of you know anyone who is struggling with addiction, here is a link to an addiction help-line!

http://www.addictionsearch.com/treatment/UT/city/salt-lake-city.html


Thanks to all of you for helping make my "new life" a very happy one!

Dancing with the Stars...

So I know I always talk about how much I love all of the Dancing shows that are on tv. Dancing with the stars is for sure one of my favorites! Tonight they had 2 of my favorite professional dancers to a dance together. Derek and Julianne Hough! They are brother and sister and are amazing! She is incredible. She had emergency surgery to remove her appendix last week and she is already dancing like this. Crazy!
I love this show!

GO UTES!! And Wheeler farm!

The big win and Wheeler farm!

So we went to the Utah game last night and it was amazing! Wow! What a game! It was nothing short of SPECTACULAR! ....(Marci, that one is for you!) You should have seen the place the last 2 minutes! I thought the place was going to blow up!! What a great game! And wow! I have a die hard Ute fan! Brady is Utah all the way! He was going crazy! Everybody wore black...they called it a "blackout" because the Utes were debuting their new black uniforms! It looked pretty cool!We had so much fun! We took our good friends, Sam and Marci and had a blast!

Then today we went with my sister, Kristin and her cute little Charly to lunch and Wheeler farm for Kristin's birthday! We had so much fun! I don't know when I have seen a cuter little person than Charly! She is so funny! I just can't get enough of her! The kids loved it! It was perfect weather and a great time for everybody! Kristin, hope you had a great day! I love you!!

Kristin had just realized Charly had a majorly stinky diaper! Ewwww!

My little helpers.....

This morning we were all up early..mostly thanks to Brinley who is quite the early bird! McKaylee went to Piano lessons at 7:30 and I started cleaning up the kitchen. As I was picking up, Brinley came out and said, "Mom, go lay down, me and Bubba will clean! I know you don't feel good so we are going to clean!" Next thing I knew they were sneaking around telling me not to look...Then I heard, "WE'RE READY!" So they took me around to show me what they had done. They had made their beds by themselves and Bubba was SO proud of himself! Here was his masterpiece! I love it!

Then they had also wiped down their bathroom with Clorox wipes. I wish i could have gotten a picture of the mirror. It was pretty foggy..not sure what they used on the mirror, then there were several cute little hand prints from holding themselves up..So CUTE!

After they were done, Brinley came to me and said, "See? We told you that we would be good helpers if you got sick when you were pregnant! So now we can tell dad we can have lots more babies!".....Brady, don't pass out!

I love my little helpers so much!

Thought for the day......

"What if the Hokey Pokey really is what it's all about? ".......................I have this saying right above my stove so I see it several times a day! Today, with all of the election hub-bub that has been going on along with other added stresses of each and every day, it stuck out to me a little more...and made me smile!